I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
