and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize