This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
