YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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