Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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