maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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