So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
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There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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