he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
