You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
