it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
