Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
