i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
