How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
