She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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