I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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