i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Holy shit dude........stairs
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