Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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