I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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