My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
