ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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