mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
sex in a hospital.. check
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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