Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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