All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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