Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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