careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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