chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
