mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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