I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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