WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
