Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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