I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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