First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
