Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I forget how to act sober
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