doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
FUCK WHALES
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