I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
