So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
