the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's shark week go big or go home
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
