dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize