I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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