I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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