I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
