I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize