For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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