Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
