I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
