Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
