i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
