i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
