I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
