i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My Sexting was not on an AP level
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize