Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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