Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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