Got a toothbrush?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize