he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
