Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
