guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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