I can tuck mytits in my pants
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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