Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize