btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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