The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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