The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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