do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
