i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh god it's open bar.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
