How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
