i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
