In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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