i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
